For reasons that no major U.S. news outlet can apparently explain, it has been really, really warm in the middle of winter over much of the country. How warm is it? It is so damn warm:
“Dick Cheney waterboarded himself.”
“Charlie Sheen was snorting actual snow.”
“I saw Rupert Murdoch trying to hack his way into a Cold Stone Creamery.”.
“Congress had to install a fan on the debt ceiling.”
It was so damn warm that the New York Times ran this amazing story:
READ MORE: